How do I grow a beard?
Step 1: Destroy your razor(s).
Step 2: Wait

The key to step one is to destroy, rather than discard of the razor. If you discard a still functioning razor in the trash, there’s a chance a homeless man may discover it and fall prey to it’s temptations. It is a wicked contraption, and must be rendered impotent.

How do I make a convincing fake beard?
The secret to a spectacular and natural looking artificial beard is human hair, preferably your own! It’s as easy as letting body hair grow long where it naturally grows long. Simply harvest that hair, and with an application of theatrical glue you can have yourself a perfect fake beard that matches your hair, because it is your hair!
What about my children?
Children are encouraged to have fun with their beards! Even at very young ages, children can apply their own beards with sharpies and magic markers. Fun costume beards can be worn, making every day a costume party! The Church does not expect it’s congregation to wear more natural beards until they’ve reached adulthood. It’s important we keep the faith fun for the kids.

Where can I find one of these costume beards?
Here are some of our favorite sources for theatrical beards: - we prefer the biblical beards ;) - a nice selection of human hair beards - perfect for families on a budget